Two Sides of the Same Coin
by Miss Annabel Lenore Ragg
Summary: Death has always been a fundamental part of who Undertaker is.


**A/N: **This is a piece I wrote for a collaboration for the Undertaker FC on BlackButler (d o t) net . This can also be found on my Ao3 account. Standard disclaimers apply. Enjoy.

**Two Sides of the Same Coin**

I've been in this line of work for quite some time. I've walked among the dead longer than most could ever begin to fathom. One could say that I am an old hand at death. Actually, to be more precise, I _am _Death. With a capital "D". Hehe~

I have presided over the deaths of every manner of human being. Both politicians and paupers have succumbed to my scythe. I have flirted with Madame Guillotine. I have shaken hands with Sir Pestilence. I have reaped the souls of entire peasant families ravaged by famine as well as each member of the illustrious Habsburg lineage (and I do mean _every one of them_. Oh, those Habsburgs… hehe~). They have squirmed at the mention of my name, but I am nothing to fear. Day in and day out I examined the cinematic records of the dying, deciding whether they stayed in this realm or continued on to the next. I did this peacefully, mechanically, indifferently. This was my work for many centuries, but like life all things must come an end. I turned in my glasses. I tucked away my scythe. I had my reasons.

That was half a century ago. I have taken on a new occupation, a new persona, a new perspective. Death is still very much a part of who I am, though. The melting of ice does not change its composition. I now deal in a different aspect of death: another side of the same coin. I am the Undertaker. With a capital "U". I once dealt with the immortal soul, but now I deal with the temporal body. For all of those centuries I had disregarded these vessels, but now I have come to appreciate just how beautiful they are. The alabaster coloured skin like wax, the silenced tongues, and the peaceful expressions (the latter being my own handiwork for the most part) are the most exquisitely beautiful things in the world. The contusions, the lacerations, the sunken eyes, and the missing limbs all tell a much more personal and profound story compared the detached replaying of life events the cinematic records told. I am the last person who really gets to know these people. I am the last person to ever let you down. Hehe~! Each body tells a different story and each body presents a different challenge. I've seen bodies burned to crisp, drowned and left for days, and hacked to pieces and yet it still gives me no greater joy than to piece them back together and make them beautiful. I take great pride in my work. Once cannot imagine the excitement at seeing the face take on renewed colour as pink-hued embalming fluid pumps through their veins or seeing a shattered skull come back together with the aid of clay and cosmetics after hours of painstaking work.

I do provide other services as well, at a price. I do not want your coins, they are of no worth to me. What I covet is a good laugh, a quality joke. Truly, how sad it would be should laughter disappear. It really is the best medicine. I have lost and been swept into the blackest of pits. I have seen things one could not contrive even in their very worst nightmare, but I have found that there is always a bright side even to death. He-he-he~! Granted, I take the work I do seriously, but a bit of joviality is perfectly healthy.

People tend to squirm at my name, but I am nothing to fear. I am unlike those other men of my trade. The ones in the stiff black suits with the cold mien about them and the gloomy eyes with the vulture stare. They are scavengers of both the living and the dead. Late in my previous career one of these men appeared on my list. His cinematic record showed him as he went humorlessly about his business, charging more than needed for a coffin and cutting corners while embalming to name just a few of his misdeeds. Then one day as he was reaching for a coffin it fell upon him and he was killed outright. Dead as a coffin nail. He-he~! Oh, the wonderful irony! The poetic justice! Hehehehe~! At least in death he provided for some amusement.

Now, don't give me that look. I promise I am nothing to fear. We'll have some tea and homemade funeral biscuits and chat before it gets too late. The sun is going down and it may not rise on your world tomorrow. Perhaps you'd like to try out one of my custom made coffins made out of the finest materials for your final rest. You may try to deny it, but some day you _will_ need my services. I am Undertaker. I am Death.


End file.
